never enough time
Well, that’s not exactly true. There’s not enough time in the mornings—today I was half an hour late for work (and damned lucky my boss wasn’t in). I rushed to make breakfast, I rushed to make lunches, I rushed to do Cali’s hair. I barely had time to throw on make up and find clothes. My morning jog has long since become a fantasy I only commit to in theory. Is it necessary to be this rushed? No, of course not. I’m this rushed because I wake up twenty minutes, half an hour max before I need to be out the door.
Why can’t I force myself to wake up on time?! I went to sleep early enough, I slept soundly…my alarm went off again and again and again. I knew it would mean a hectic morning. I knew it would mean being impatient when Cali couldn’t find her agenda. I still couldn’t drag myself out of bed.
There are other things I could do to help myself, too. I could make lunches, choose my clothes and pack her backpack the night before. The lack of self discipline will be the end of me.
I need to come up with a plan and then I need to commit to this. I’m not willing to be this frazzled all the time. I’m not willing to do this one second longer.
Tomorrow I will take control. Tomorrow I will not be rushed. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.
